Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in traviz44's LiveJournal:

Thursday, September 13th, 2007
9:41 pm	love lasting nothing lasts forever all good things have their end things can always get better we can always start all over again so we said were sorry and I think I love you more than before we'll live this white picket fenced type of life and we'll have a welcome sign at the door maybe we'll stumble maybe we'll get lost but we'll pay the price for love cause all good things have their cost and when things are looking grey when things are at their worst we'll close our eyes and hold on tight we'll do what it takes to make this work the whole weight of the world was on our shoulders but our love made it feel just like a feather and some things just have to get a whole lot worse  before things get a whole lot better (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 2nd, 2007
12:33 am	there is a fine line between love and hate hope keeps me waiting desire leaves me impatient and i love the way you fix your hair even though it is a bit high maintenance i love the way you smell  and the way you eat your food i love the way you smile at me whenever i look at you i miss the good times that we used to have like laughing so hard we couldn't breathe i miss those nights when it was just you and me and how we loved to eat those stawberries but i can't stand the way you treat me just like i'm your best friend i don't want to be near you now if i can't have you in the end when you tell me that you don't love me  my heart will surely fall you can pick up the broken pieces but i won't pick up when you call your shot is now it won't be there for later you'll have to come pick me up cause this is one heart that doesn't cater Current Music: feeling this - blink 182 (Comment on this)
12:21 am	looking back looking back when i had you maybe it's not meant to be. whenever we hung out together i felt like you were to good for me. i don't think much of myself and to me your a goddess. some say i'm too humble but i just say i'm honest. you might ditch me one night and then want to hang the next. but all i get out of it is less friends and feel depressed. the words i speak are truthful and are chosen with slendor care. but you could care less how i feel and more about what you wear. sometimes you ignore me act like i'm not there. i'll always be in the back of your mind waiting for you to come back here. once you realize all you've been missing out on. i have the slightest idea how i'll react. maybe on impulse i'll kiss you. maybe i'll just walk away just like that. Current Music: wide awake - autopilot off (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 31st, 2007
2:11 pm	my music   (Comment on this)
1:23 am	a beautiful torment physically i'm fine mentally im distrought your smile makes me smile and i lose all train of thought caught up in your beauty i just can't close my eyes i love the way you laugh i wish it was me you were beside you make anything look good i'de eat a mudcake if you made it your personality is so bright and mine is dull and faded your eyelashes soar a mile high behind your bangs you try to hide please let me see those gorgeous eyes i'll gladly wipe the tears when you cry you torment me with your beauty you dont care if it kills me inside my love for you will never end i'll love you till the day i die Current Music: fold - trust company (Comment on this)
1:21 am	i'm trying i wish you were here with me so i would not have to be alone yeah i don't mind all the postcards and talking on the phone i've got plenty of friends to hang with but none of them are you i miss our secret handshakes and our naps in the afternoon my family is always a delight but to you they hardly compare you make me laugh like a little girl but i don't even care because with you i am not embarrased i'm actually glad to be seen with you then everybody knows that i am madly in love with you you must be the only one thats blinded the only one that does not know the only one whom i'de really confide it but the only one that cannot know its not that you can't know it just that i am scarred of your reply if you don't feel the same way i do then our friendship will surely die so time goes by and my secret is hidden you move away and go on livin now married because i settled for less it's now that i feel embarrased you come to me and ask me  did i ever feel for you looking back now i regret the fact that i never said that i loved you too late to make things right we carry on our lives knowing that i screwed things up knowing i was living a lie the moral you must come to accept is that love will sometimes hide  it will not all into your arms and that it is something you must find Current Music: someday you will be loved - death cab for cutie (Comment on this)
1:20 am	a lasting love sunshine wakes me up in the morning another day to waste away another day of ardeous work that recieves only a meager pay time ticks only when my eye's avoid the clock so i think of you as i'm breaking my back but with every waking moments pass i wish i was home so i could relax if it wasn't for you i'm not sure i could bear it but within enough time my age will get its merit with time at steak and our fire of love getting colder my love for you only grows as we become older when it's finally time for us to leave this place we'll sprout wings and rise from the grave and we can look back with a laugh and a grin because we both know we'll meet in heaven again Current Music: how far we've come - matchbox 20 (Comment on this)
1:19 am	lustful love God has given me the gift of sight i can see all that is not clear i can tell how you feel inside and if what you say is sincere i know you didn't mean it when you said "i'll love you forever" i knew you didn't care when i said that "i'll love you better" i know that this is a mistake but my feelings control my actions and they say actions speak loder than words too bad we're blinded by our satisfactions a love based on lust is morally wrong but as long as our relationship has a chance i'll promise to hold on  hand in hand we'll struggle to survive has this lust turned into love or am i just trying to make this work after all the people that looked down on us and cursed has all this resistance finally caught up to what it's worth something tells me inside that we made it through the rough nothing can stop us, at last we are free to love i've learned nothing is impossible, nothing good should be given up if you lust for love, and love to lust, whenever you fall down, you'll just have to get up Current Music: your hand in mine - explosions in the sky (Comment on this)
1:17 am	big words our love is always alluring never cloying constantly amending at no time halting on the verge of becoming contemplative and i could die now a happy boy but being acquisitive  i crave your deliberation and i'm in omission until your restitution we'll fix this complication once we find the solution. Current Music: i love you - the benjy davis project (Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 24th, 2007
10:58 am	trying to rhyme sorta..sorry A friend of mine once said to me don't let the devil get the best of ye for if he does he surely will take my soul straight down to hell He seemed sincere and i could tell so i took his advice and to God i hailed as time went by i followed in christ until one mischievious night I was with some friends you could say when one of them asked me to come their way into the dark i saw a light one hit took me on a mellowly flight The devil drew me in with his so called temptation and on my way down i had a revelation i realized my faults and how  sorry i felt all i wanted was a second chance and nothing else To my relief another light came out of the dark but i knew this one was different i could feel in my heart upon my awakening i prayed for forgiveness and now i spread God's word as my repentance All can be saved All can be forgiven All are accepted In the kingdom of Heaven. Current Music: the feel good drag - anberlin (3 Comments |Comment on this)
10:57 am	Perservierance I'm no stranger to rejection we have grown quite acquanted  with the weight of the world on my shoulders and i don't think I can make it every muscle is tightend the pressure is choking me your smothering me with a friendship and i'm just trying to breathe sometimes i wonder if it's not supposed to be i love you more than you'll ever know cut my chains and i'll let you see until my burdons are lifted i'm a slave and nothing more i've given an arm and a lung and you sit there asking for more you've taken all i've had to offer left me bare and all alone but you've helped me see a light one that leads me home finaly upon the alter of life i'm saved and i'm redeemed a new start awaits me once I awaken from this dream With a chest full of ambition and a heart full of hope I strive to make it in this world whether were together or  I'm alone Current Music: the fearsome foursome - knockout kings (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 22nd, 2007
12:40 am	she kills me softly It kills me inside to see her how she is she takes life by the throat but always lets it live i know she loves me  shes told me time again why does she tease me why doesn't she give in shes lost all she had and she is far from being happy i'm there for you girl why wont you have me i've always been there for you and you know i always will i will wait for you forever  persistance never fails every minute my patience weakens for me you'll never fall what have i not got i'll give you my breath just to hear you talk my heart has been shot your words are silver bullets but the words are spoken so softly that i hardly even knew it as a lay dying its killing me to know are you happy where you are standing all alone and i'll look down and protect you from the demons and your foes i know you can feel my presence so soft you'll hardly even know Current Music: Counting Blue Cars - Dishwalla (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 21st, 2007
1:49 am	the human heart. who in the hell can understand it. OBLIVIOUS I love this girl very much. I'm not sure if she knows it. But I love her very much so. I'de give her my heart even if she'd break it. I'de spell I love you with the boken pieces. And I'de do anything to be in his shoes. I'de  do anything to even be his shoes. I would do anything..for her. I am not obsessed. just simply in love. Although Love can become an obsession to some. She talks. I listen. I talk. she glistens. I am cupid when it comes to her love life. Her boyfriend stands always in the limelight. And although I tell myself that now is the time. I tell her he is the one. I know I'm wrong because when I'm with her it feels so right. Am I wasting my time. I am holding a sign that reads O PLEASE.  please be mine. It is clearly in view. And yet she see's right through me. Because it's hard to see the thing's that just don't seem significant. She is the sun. And I am the ant. HE is the magnifying glass. The ant lives life blessing to blessing. Thanking the sun for providing him with what he needs to live. She shines because that is what she does. Unaware of the life she nurtures. Oblivious to the lives that are revolving around her. Only trying to get closer to me. He slowly burns me up. The ant that has worked so hard and thanks the sun for all she has done. dies. The sun continues to shine through the magnifying glass. Oblivious that the ant has done everything he can to thank her. Oblivious that he was even there. She is oblivious. Current Mood: restless Current Music: "let it roll" secondhand serenade (Comment on this)
Sunday, July 15th, 2007
2:54 pm	GIRLS oh..girls..girls...girls...everyone's favorite subject..to me..Girls are comlpex organisims that have no instructions on how to deal with them..so like most mechanical things, guy's try a guess and check method to figure them out..after many guesses..they always end up screwing the machine or their relationship with a girl up..it is an inevitable outcome. This method does not work because each girls is different from one another..for instance, one girl was upset because i didn't move as fast as she did and therefore left me, in my next relationship i decided i wanted to move faster since that's what i thought she would want..she became worried that we were moving to fast...while one girl thinks im quiet the other will think i'm outgoing..it's these different views that confuse me and make it difficult to find out what a girl really wants...I'm not really sure what point i'm trying to prove, but the more times i screw up with a girl the more i become disheartend and think that i might never get it right...girls are what everyone loves to hate and hates to love. (p.s. ~ this is just a short personal opinion of girls, one of the many that i am sure to come..) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, July 14th, 2007
7:31 pm	selfishness Do you agree with me that most everyone seems to focus on how much they can accomplish in their lifetime? You hear people talk of how they want to become this or that and how they want to "live life to the fullest." What about the rest of the world though, modern day genocides are occuring  in places like Darfur..both political war's and terrorism are a constant threat. There are even people that are going to bead hungry. I think it is time people stop focusing on how they can better themselves, but how we can better the world. It is true, we are not given enough time on earth. To solve all of our problems it will take more than yours and my lifetime, but if we start working towards a better world today, it will be a better world for the generations of tomorrow. (6 Comments |Comment on this)